Recently I was at one of my essential oil workshops just about to walk out the door, when one of the beautiful guests wanted to share with me a video of her grandchild. I think thats really a complement that she wanted to share that with me but what happened next is still sitting a little heavy on the chest.
As a bereaved parent, the sense of loss is great in my life but now with my amazing 2 girls I think I get by most days happy and grateful but sometimes things happen and it can send you right back.
This lady had no idea of my past, and clearly was so proud and happy and showed me her phone, to share a precious video of her grandchild.
There as I watched, eyes glued, I could not turn away, A woman in labour having her new born baby placed on to her chest and just as the baby was about to let out its first cry, she said to me, "Isn't that the most amazing sound in the world, a babies first cry?!".
I just chocked up, tears came to my eyes and I felt my body move right back and my breath was taken away from me. For me, having my first born at 39 weeks, placed on my chest, with no heart beat and no first scream, I yearn for that sound from that little human, my little human is great.
It wasn't that ladies fault at all for sharing her beautiful joy with me, but just like that at any given moment we can be taken back to raw intense moments of our loss.
Someone asked me the other day.. 'Oh low long did it take you to get over the loss of your baby?'. I don't think that is even a question..
I really debated sharing this, I think it is good to get if off my chest and maybe, just maybe, someone can benefit from me sharing.
Gently moving on!